I Often

I often speak with my husband about having children and whether or not it would be selfish of us to bring them into a this world. We live in a world where "religious people" kill one another , some touch little boys, school shootings are becoming the norm, those who were born privileged think of the poor as leeches,  combating gender violence is not a priority in foreign policy, women are considered inferior beings by most men, and there is a genuine lack of respect when there is a difference of opinion. I believe in God, but I do not have a problem with atheist's opinion because they are entitled to their opinion and who am I to tell someone they have to think otherwise. I have no problem with anyone LGBT. I believe in love! And no matter what many religious people think, babies will continue to be born.

I often tell my husband that if we decided to have children, I hope we have a boy first and then our little girl will have someone to protect her. Parents cannot be everywhere their children are all the time. Parents cannot shield their children from all the negativity in the world, though they try. God bless them for trying. I remember as a child when my parents first explained death to me. It is the one thing in the world I wished they were able to shield me from. Of all the violence and cursing I had seen on television, all the sex, drugs, rock and roll, none of it compared to the experience of losing a loved one drastically. 

I often read emails sent to me by Women Thrive Worldwide, NOW, and The Human Rights Campaign and tears come to my eyes. I signed a petition this morning on gender violence. A four year old little girl in India died of cardiac arrest late last month due to having been raped, beaten, and dumped outside of a crematorium. What kind of world do we live in where something like this is on the rise? And what about human trafficking? In human trafficking men are buying little girls as young as 3 years old because they are under the impression that they will never catch a disease with a younger victim. And I think to myself, what if my husband and I have a girl? Human trafficking, contrary to popular belief is very prevalent in the United States as well, especially in Florida. The real question is will this madness ever end? Will the men who commit these horrible crimes against women ever realize that these women are their sisters, daughters, mothers? Or will they continue to focus on the profit margins, which by the way is $31 billion dollars a year and counting (human trafficking). It seems hopeless, but where there is a will there is a way.

I often watch television and notice that the only thing that brings people together regardless of age, gender, color, sexual preference, religion, or politics is a catastrophe. People come together when tornadoes and hurricanes occur, school shootings, and kidnappings. While it is sad that this is what it takes for people to come together, it gives me hope. Because regardless of whatever the circumstances may be, people still have the ability to unite as one.

I see hope everyday.

I often look at my husband and see hope. I see hope for the future. My husband may get on my last nerve on occasion, but he never raises a hand to me, nor does he abuse me verbally or emotionally. My husband is not homophobic. He has respect for his fellow human being, and their differences. He is a hard working man who has love, honor, and respect for me, his mother, and his sisters. He gives me hope that if we have a daughter that she will be alright in this world. He gives me hope that if we have a son that there will be another man, a real man in this world. 

In order for change to occur, we must be the change we seek. We must stand up for what we believe in and fight for causes greater than ourselves. When I say fighting for something greater than ourselves I mean this: You may disagree with someone's sexual preference, but everyone has a right to love and be loved. Everyone has a right to spend the rest of their lives with the one they love, in matrimony if they so desire. You may have a problem with women, but you may want to think twice about the woman who did not abort you! We must learn to respect other people's right to free will as well as choice. We must not get upset because someone does not share our beliefs because no two lives are the same, neither are the circumstances within. The rule still stands: treat others as though you will be in their shoes tomorrow. Do not sympathize, empathize because even if it means nothing to you, it could mean everything to them. 


Tempera Mental

Decisions, Decisions

The hardest thing in the world to do is walk by faith and not by sight. I do not gamble. I am not much of a risk taker. Perhaps that is my problem. I do not enjoy not having control over my destiny, but I can accept the fact. Having to make a decision which holds not only your future, but the future of others in the balance makes it all the more difficult. We have all made decisions which we regret, have done things that we wish we could either take back or make amends for. We naturally make stupid mistakes when we are young, but what is the excuse when you make the wrong decision as an adult? The wrong decision as an adult I call fate. You are not where God wants you to be once you realize you have made a mistake, at which point you must acclimate yourself and move on. 

Admittedly, I have to make a list of pros and cons when making an important decision. I have to speak with someone I trust, someone whom I feel makes good life decisions. Yes, I get on my knees and pray. Yes, I ask God for guidance, but I am not adept at noticing the signs he puts in front of my face. Perhaps the pros and cons list is how God makes him or herself known to me. Who knows? I try not to lean into my own understanding because my understanding has led me down a dark road on an occasion or two. 

I know that I am not the only person who struggles with decision making, but I may be one of the few who makes the process harder than it has to be. Even my decision to write this blog in the manner in which I do was a difficult one. When I read others' blogs, there is a multitude of things which I find meaningful and important (i.e. politics, advocating for social change, injustice, women's rights, etc.).  I have opted to write my blog as though it is a personal journal (even though I have kept a personal journal). I use to read others' blogs and think to myself "my blog sucks", and then it occurred to me that my blog matters to the one person who reads it the most...ME. So the decision to write this blog in the manner that I do is perfectly fine. And it keeps me sane. I digress.

When it comes to decision making the key is to weigh your options. You must be like Santa Clause; make a list and check it twice. Ask God, and speak with the people he has put into your life whose opinion you TRULY value and respect. When it comes to decision making you must also realize (as my husband says) "the grass may not be greener on the other side". We must remember to do what we can with what we have in the present moment, but never stop dreaming big. If you are like me then you are someone who wants what you want right now. Yes I lack patience. I am a work in progress, it will come. Patience like decision making requires discipline, not time.

How many times have you struggled over something you already knew the answer to? We must remember to be true to ourselves, which means that what we want may not necessarily be what we need. Once you can distinguish between the two you will begin to make solid (right) decisions. Make sure you are the one making the decision. Receive advice from others, but do not let them make the decision for you. I hope that makes sense. Also, do not allow fear to make your decisions for you, EVER! This is why I said in the first paragraph "I am not much of a risk taker", but I do take risks. I have found that usually the perfect time to take a risk is when you are afraid. I say perfect because the only way to conquer fear is to face it, but that is another blog, and not always the case.

My point is look to your future because your future is bright. Do not hold on to the past. Whatever decisions you are or have been contemplating, take a leap of faith. Make the decision and move on without regret no should have, could have, would have, that only sets you up for inevitable failure. Whatever decision you have to make, do not spend an exorbitant amount of time on it, and do not force the issue, just make the decision and move on. Whatever option you choose remember God is in the midst of it all. Thank you for your time.

Tempera Mental