I believe we must all become selfish at some point. While that may sound bad to some, I have realized that true generosity comes from having your shit together. When you have a good job, good home, good car, good friends, good credit, good savings account...etc; You can help people. Clearly this is only because you have helped yourself get to the ability of being able to help others. I have been remarkably selfless for quite sometime. I have always had a big heart.
When I was 13yrs old, I lived in Africa for 6 months with my mother. There was a little girl same age as I who lived in the village my mother and I were living in. I loved this girl, she was my best friend at the time, much like a sister. One day I saw that she had no shoes on her feet, I gave her my shoes. We were no where near my townhouse for me to get another pair for myself. My almost mother cried, not out of anger, but at how great she said that my heart is. When I was 21 my now dearest friend Dionne and I were working at the same club. Dionne was about 5'2", 98 lbs; Dionne was this gorgeous little barbie doll with a winning personality. One day I saw Dionne waiting outside for the bus and offered her a ride home. Because of the long hours her fiancee worked he could not come for her. While driving her home I noticed that she didn't live far from me, but I also noticed how dimly lit and wooded the path to her apartment complex was. The bus did not drop her off close enough for her to not have to walk down this path. She, in my opinion, was entirely too small and beautiful to be walking down this dark path every night, alone. I almost cried at the thought of someone possibly kidnapping or raping her or something to that effect. I offered to pick her up and take her home, every single day. We are the best of friend til this day.
3 years ago I gave my whole heart to someone and lost everything because of it. A new lesson was learned. I have now learned that self preservation is the law of life. For the first time in my life I am now thinking about me. It feels weird doing it, but it has to be done. I go to the gym now, I'm eating better, feeling better, and have returned to the church. This is when it is okay to be selfish. No one is going to take care of you but you. The world we live in affords one the luxury of taking care of oneself first above all. Now it is time to go for a better quality of life. I have provided so many with happiness that I have forgotten about myself. God has helped me catch this issue early in life, now I can move onward and upward. I have to take things about myself more seriously now. That's not to say that I'll be a bitch to someone in need, I'll just have to be more cautious about whom I help out, whom I give so much of myself to, and what I do for myself in the long run. When one takes better care of themselves one can then focus on bigger issues (i.e. world hunger, world disease, education, etc)...things that really matter.
Temper Mental Artist
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