Baby Steps

Now is a time to heal, forgive, forget and let go. There are things that I have held on to for far to long. Like you, I am human. I have feelings and emotional instabilities, skeletons, etc. It's apart of who we are. We all have secrets and that's okay. It's okay to keep apart of you just that; a part of you. I believe that is the problem that many famous people can't cope with; everybody knows everything about them. That can be a head ache for any one. It's equal to giving someone space in a marriage. It's something we all need. Take time just as I have, to seek peace, heal your wounds, forgive those who have wronged you no matter how difficult it may be. Move on. Forget about your past and move towards accepting your beautiful and bright future. Let go, let go, LET IT GO! I had to write that just now, perhaps some one needs it as I no longer do. I have forgiven myself for not understanding that self preservation is the law of life at a time when I needed to know it the most. I have now let it go. Had I not been able to let it go and forgive myself I wouldn't be where I am today, nor as happy. I realize things are easier said than done, hell there are in fact things I'm still having trouble coping with, I say again that's okay. Baby steps are okay! Babies eventually take off running. So take all the time you need just make sure that that time leads to stability, sanity, faith, belief, preservation, confidence, strength, courage, and wisdom. To err is human, to forgive is devine. Let go and let God!

Tempera Mental

NOT JUST ANOTHER NEW YEAR!

Today I have accepted the fact that God has offered me a new beginning. New beginnings are not something that come often. Just so we are clear I said God has offered me a new beginning, not a new year. A new year is just that. A new beginning is a new life! Today I am happier than I have ever been, simply because of my faith in God. I have been blessed with the opportunity to start with a new job, a new school (and major), a new city, a man who loves me, a new apartment, even a new gym membership! I didn't realize it until yesterday. I realized I am not afraid of change any more. I realized I deserve this! And so do many of you. It's okay to go away from what you are accustomed to or what you think is "cool". One thing I noticed when I went away on military duty was that when I returned, the same people were there doing the same things. There is nothing cool about that. The party will always be there, the haters will always be there, the same headaches will always be there unless you accept the opportunities that God is trying to give you. Accept the new beginning that God is offering you and stop worrying about the people you arent going to see, the money you may not make, the partying you may not be able to do because in the long run..all you have is you! No one is going to love you better than you, take care of you better than you, do more for you than you can do for yourself. It's always surprising to me the things that many of us just cant let go of. The only thing I won't change is my friends. Those who actually have been a friend to me, not the haters who are only my friend when necessary. But those who's shoulder I can and have cried on, those who have presented themselves as worthy of the title of friend. A friend doesn't hate on you, turn on you, get jealous of you, try and have power over you or laugh at you. A friend supports you. A friend doesn't get angry or envious when someone else wants your attention (i.e. a potential significant other). A friend doesn't hesitate when you need help. A friend uplifts you, supports you and let's you know when you are wrong. I am greatful to have a few, and I mean few of those. So, I'll say again for me this is a new beginning, not just a new year. And if you are considering this simply a New Year then you may want to reevaluate where you want to be in life and what is important to you. Make a plan for your future, like I did because we aren't going to be young forever. Have a new beginning not just a another new year.

Tempera Mental

COEXIST (It is possible)

I went back and read some of my old blogs. It is quite interesting, to say the least. Perhaps I should be as Walt Whitman and write glowing reviews of my own work in some noted newspaper. Haven't had the time to blog as often as I'd like. I have spent the last three months in school studying Poetry and American Literature. Some interesting things have taken place in this country since the first "Thanksgiving". The students in my American Literature class are beautiful creatures. We each have our own uniqueness that in my opinion makes the world a better place. We are all shades of the rainbow. We are Muslim, Christian, Jewish, Atheist, Agnostic, and Catholic. We are from all walks of life. We are rich, middle class, and poor. We range in age from 16-40. We all love each other and get along famously. What does this say about the world we live in? Going by what I see on the news everyday my classmates should be at war with one another. This class is not easy by any stretch of the imagination. We have all stood together as a democracy against our teacher and won what we wanted. We have openly discussed our differences, accepted and understood those differences and shook hands after the fact. Again I ask, what does this say about the world we live in? It says to me that in spite of all that we do not understand or condone about one another, there is still hope. Hope for peace and love in this crazy world. Sometimes I wish our class could be televised (unbeknownst to us of course) so that people the world over could see that there is no reason why we all can't just get along. NO REASON AT ALL!


Tempera Mental

IF IT WERE UP TO ME (A repetition poem)

If it were up to me, health care would be free

If it were up to me, there would be no need for war

If it were up to me, there would be capital punishment in my country

If it were up to me, the rich would have to walk a mile in a poor man's shoes

If it were up to me, I'd have my 40 acres and a mule

If it were up to me, we would be able to accept each other's differences

If it were up to me, there would be no incurable diseases

If it were up to me, the presidency could not be bought

If it were up to me, women would be treated as equals in all cultures

If it were up to me, children would be free of sexual predators

If it were up to me, skin color would not matter

If it were up to me, sexual preference would not matter

If it were up to me, church would be a safe haven

If it were up to me, there would be as many attractive men as there are women

If it were up to me, competition would be none

If it were up to me, boxing would still be a great sport

If it were up to me, today's music would require some kind of talent

If it were up to me, friendship would mean something

If it were up to me, people would keep their word

If it were up to me, military veterans would be tax free and never without

If it were up to me, the judicial system would be righteous

If it were up to me, African Americans would be treated as equals

If it were up to me, women would be meaningful pursuits as opposed to objects

If it were up to me, men would have to give birth at some point

If it were up to me, pittbulls wouldn't get such a bad rap, their owners would

If it were up to me, parents would whoop their kids asses

If it were up to me, high schools would have classes that actually teach about life

If it were up to me, all teachers would give a damn, not just some

If it were up to me, I'd go on and on with this

But it isn't up to me, is it!?


Thank you for reading,
Tempera Mental

GOOD MORNING

How beautiful is morning? The air is crisp and it is quiet, peaceful. The sound of birds chirping from my window lets me

know that God has given many of us another day. A second chance at life is all many of us need. The sun has peeked over the

roof of the home across the street, directly into my eye it shines. Thank you Jesus! It is only the middle of the week and so

much has happened; chess moves have been made, deals have been closed or broken, some new actor will get his or her

big break, friends have become enemies, people will become criminals today, minds will change, love will endure, love

will destroy, love will pop the question. There is so much happening at this very moment, in this morning as on every

morning. Oh how I love morning! I open my eyes and say Thank you Jesus. Someday I will be able to open my eyes

every morning in the arms of the man I love at which time I will say, Thank you Jesus. Every morning I wake up I am

humbled, greatful, thankful, for the micro moment I am at peace.


Tempera Mental

YOU PEOPLE, US (A Poem for Change)

It can't even bring you happiness

You love it so much

You will kill for it

You will steal for it

Sacrifice your soul for it

Sacrifice your dignity

Sacrifice your morals

The man that you are

The woman that you think you are

You weren't even born with it

Silver spoon you say?

The person feeding you is just nice enough to share

Why can't you?

Why are my taxes higher?

Why are you so mean?

You have good insurance

You have a nice house

You have a nice car

You have nice clothes

You have food on your table

WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN

WHY ARE YOU SO SELFISH

WHY ARE YOU SO GREEDY

Mom he isn't rich

I want to be with him....

I WANT TO BEEE with him!

WHY CAN'T I BE?

Dad he isn't the same color

I want to be with him

WHY CAN'T I BE?

WHY ARE YOU SO IGNORANT?

2500 PEOPLE!!!

NOW we have added security?

He or she is Muslim

SO WHAT

He or she is gay

SO WHAT

He or she is black

SO WHAT

She is a porn star

SO WHAT

Did you go to law school?!

Are you presiding!?

You can't even mind your own business

You sensationalize

You advertise

You immortalize

That which does not matter

I don't have enough paper

I don't have enough time

I don't have enough brain

So much needs to be changed

Start with who you are

Who you want to be

Who you have become

Look around

Prayer is free

True love is free

Random acts of kindness are free

And for the record....

So is recycling ;0)

A Temperamental Artist

Self Preservation

Im told self preservation is the law of life, but to what extent? Self preservation can cause one to hurt others. When is self preservation wrong? Is it wrong in team efforts? Is it wrong where friends are present? What happens when you are a nice person to others, selfless in most instances? I have always been the nice one, the one who isn't selfish. Now that I have decided to care about me, shit is hitting the fan. Now Im being told that Im "selfish", that I should have thought about this and that first before I did what I did. This came from someone who claimed to be my friend. This is the simplest of things. This person and I work together on a rotating shift with others. We were all confused about this weeks schedule. I showed up to work for the opening shift at which point my boss said I was not supposed to be there. My boss then told me to hold on while he would call the GM and my friend. I was told to work. When my friend showed up at the wrong time (like I did) later on in the day, she was upset I didn't call her. I explained to her that I didn't call her because management said they would call her. This is when she said "I thought we were friends". I feel I did what I was supposed to do which is what management said, work.

Oddly enough I don't feel I am wrong. I don't feel I owe her an apology. I actually feel better about doing what I am supposed to do to make my life easier. The first thing that came out of my mouth to her was "have I ever let you down?" "If the shoe were on the other foot, would you have called me?" there was a pause. She blamed it all on me. I walked away from her. I'm told many of my co-workers called in about the schedule rotation last week so they could be prepared for this week. I should have done the same thing. It occured to me that I am just too nice to people, that I have always been the one to give in at my job, keep the peace if you will. I just don't feel my co workers are the bitches some people make them out to be. We can all be bitches from time to time. So what! Going back to this "friend" of mine...I noticed a number of things about her that have become quite disturbing to me over the last few months. I have never been fond of those who have to kiss ass, or manipulate their way to the top of anything. When she said to me "you know how management is" I replied to her " you manipulated your way with them, now you don't know what to do?" Then came another pause.

I feel I was being a friend by telling her these things. You can't manipulate your way to through things and then cry like a baby when it blows up in your face, when you don't get your way. You grow balls, you have to wear them. When someone feels they have kissed enough ass that they can decide where they want to be at their job and when they want to work and the person whose ass they kissed punishes them for it, they then began to act childlike. This is why people do not like brown nosers. This is why arrogance is not attractive. This is why you don't burn bridges, the same people you shit on on the way up is the same people you need coming back down. I have been where no one wants to be in my workplace for the last 6 months. Now we rotate, and it is FAIR! I'm about being fair to others. We should all have a chance at making some good money. That is the problem President Obama is having right now with these fucking greedy Republicans, and the other unknown, fucking selfish ass rich people who don't wanna let anyone else make any money!

At any rate, I am happy with the decision I have made to treat others the way they treat me. I will be nice to those who are nice to me, but you will get a taste of your own medicine. Think twice when you think you've pulled the wool over someone's eyes, they might just want you to think you're winning.

TemperMentalArt