Forward March

I come forth today, the strongest I have ever been. Today, I am able to let go of past mistakes.  I am able to forgive myself and others.   I pray for us all.  I pray for those who believe in God, I pray for those who don't. I pray for those who come forth to kill, steal, and destroy.  I pray for those who need help.  I pray for my enemies (though they are unknown to me).  I pray for those whom I have never met. I pray for our planet which is forced to endure the human race.  I pray for the ignorance in us all, because make no mistake about it..we are ignorant.  I say that we are ignorant because no matter how well-read or educated one might be, we still do stupid shit like, not calling your mom, or not recycling, or not paying taxes, or not helping veterans, or the forgotten man, the single mother, or caring about the way a criminal is treated...stupid shit! I pray because strength is needed on the part of us all.

I come forth today, the strongest I have ever been.  There have been times when I thought I had it bad. There have been times when I felt no one loved me.  There have been times when I just wanted to be the center of attention.  There have been times when I would pass judgement on others as a defense mechanism.  Who am I to judge?  How was I unable to love the beautiful creature that God made me?  Whether you believe in God or not, someone or something took their time making you, making you the artist that you are, the writer, the poet, the singer, the dancer, the gym rat, the school teacher, the policeman, the politician, the veteran, the adoptee, the judge, the garbage man, the janitor, the stripper, what ever you are, whomever you are, BE THE BEST! Do not look in the mirror with hatred, anger, or jealousy because you feel you've made so many mistakes that you can never be Jay-Z or Beyonce, Diddy or Oprah, Steve Jobs, Mark Cuban, or Zuckerberg, don't even feel animosity for not being that baller athlete that gets all the chicks or that female who is always in V.I.P.  Who the hell is gonna love you if you do not love you? Who the hell is gonna help you, if you don't get up off your ass and make moves?  Stop worrying about now and think about your future.  Get off that corner selling drugs, it only leads to two places death or prison.  Turn off the T.V. and read a book. Pay your child support.  Let go of your pride and your ego, humble yourself.  THERE IS NO SHAME IN FLIPPING BURGERS. THERE IS NO SHAME IN HAVING ONLY 1 PAIR OF SHOES. THERE IS NO SHAME IN CATCHING THE BUS. THERE IS NO SHAME WHEN YOU ARE DOING WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO TO MAKE A BETTER YOU. THERE IS NO SHAME IN NOT HAVING MONEY ALL THE TIME. 


Today, I come forth stronger than I have ever been.  Too many people worry about the wrong things in life.  Facebook is not a neccessity, it is a tool for those of us with an ego, a business, a way to find a lost loved-ones, friends, even jobs.  But those of us who are unhappy with who they are or are angry about certain things in which they have no control use the social network for ignorance.  For example, why go through your significant others' profile and make yourself angry? How long do think it will be before that person comes to their senses and leave you? "Let that bitch like another one of your photos"...Have you any idea how stupid you sound?  Many of us have a need to feel that we are not any different from anyone else.  Some of us want to be different from others, but at what cost to you within?  Have you the ability to accept who you really are? My point is that many of us are unhappy because of the things we tend to take seriously. You want a new car and you are jealous of the person who has one?  You have no idea what drive and ambition are, but that other person does.  Instead of being angry and not liking them, get on your damn grind. Do what they did (as long as it's legal...LOL!) and you will have all your heart desires. Everybody wants to be famous, no one wants to put in the work.  


I come forth today, stronger than I have ever been.  I LOOOOVVVEEE me. LOL! I love what I do and don't have.  I love my new drive and ambition.  I love that I am not the woman I used to be. I really wasn't a woman yet, I was still a little girl doing stupid shit, worrying about the wrong thing, and I almost lost everything because of it.  Understand, as long as there is breath there is life, there is a chance to better ourselves, forgive ourselves, love ourselves and each other.  Smile.  Say please and thank you. Hold door open for someone else whether you are male or female. Not blaming others for your mistakes is the very first step in becoming an adult.  You can't hate cops for putting your ass in jail, YOU broke the law.  You can't get mad when bill collectors keep calling, DEAL WITH YOUR PROBLEM.  Be an adult.  Someone in the club is upsetting you, be an adult! You're too damn old to be fighting in a club, it only says you still have some growing up to do.  Women, stop hating on each other.  It's okay to tell another woman that she is pretty, that you like her dress, a simple hello and a smile goes a long way.  Stop putting good fathers on child support, there is nothing attractive about a trifling woman.  If and only if that man is doing a good job, leave him alone.  Stop taking the child support money to get your weave done, that money is for the baby.  I digress. 

I come forth stronger than I have ever been.  Take your life into consideration.  Take care of your priorities.  Stop worrying about the club, the newest J's, the newest rap song or video or iphone.  Start worrying about your future, save some money, buy a home, buy a car that is reliable and good on gas, get some insurance for your life and health, stop assuming that all men or women are the same (YOU are still the same in the same place around the same types of people you don't want to be around). Find an outlet, go to the gym, talk to people you like frequently, become a beach bum, do some yoga, but by all means chill out! Stop trying to shoot somebody because you are mad at yourself.   Lastly, PRAY! Get on your knees and pray to whomever your God is.  If you do not have a God, or believe that there is one, then simply do what is right by others, you don't have to believe to be a nice person.


Tempera Mental Art
 

Believing Today, Becoming Tomorrow

Sometimes I think about how "thank you" just isn't enough.  When God puts someone in your life who truly loves you, someone who is truly a friend, or some random act of kindness comes your way, "thank you" just isn't enough.  We often say "Thank you Jesus", if only that were enough!  It is very rare to find a human being who actually has your back.  It is very rare to find someone who actually loves you other than those who are meant to love you (i.e. a family member).  I thank God today for who I am and what I have I am even happy with what I don't have, somethings just aren't necessary.  One thing we must all do, is look at what we do have and not at what we don't.  I may not be rich, but I have things that money can't buy.  The best things in life are free.  I am rich in love, I am rich in spirit, I am rich in health, I am rich in Christ, I am rich!  Admittedly, it took love for me to notice these things.  When someone truly loves you, like God or whom he sends to be your mate, they help you see the brighter side of things.  We all have a habit of being negative sometimes or unable to see past our current predicaments, but often someone else's point of view can really turn that frown into a smile.  We cannot make it alone, and we don't have to.  There are people and places and things put in our paths for the better of our future.  God makes it so!  When you wake up in the morning thank whomever you pray to, if you don't pray that's fine because someone somewhere is praying for you.  Don't just assume that today or anyday is going to be a bad one because that is exactly what it is going to be, especially if you are one who is easily angered or discouraged.  Expect great things, expect to be happy, expect to have friends (real ones), expect love, expect life, expect greatness in yourself!  Stop worrying about what you don't have before God takes away what you do have.  It's an old cliche' "you don't what you've got til it's gone".  Think about that for a minute.  I hate to hear people say I had a bad week.  How bad could it have been? You're alive and well to tell about that bad week.  Could've been worse...could've had your photo on a T-shirt...could've been casting your ashes out to sea...could've ended up in a coma...think about it! It's not that bad.  So you hate your job, at least you have a job.  So the bank is foreclosing on your home, someone will take you in.  You have no friends, there's a wonderful friend in Jesus, Mohammed, God, Allah, Buddha, pick one they're great and offer solace.  You have not because you ask not.  Don't get stuck in a rut, a grasshopper mentality, the "how am I going to figure this out" way of life.  Have faith! Believe in yourself and what you are (whether you believe it or not) fully capable of!  Everyday is a new day, a new beginning, a chance to make things better, a chance to make things right.  Today will be a great day!  I will get angry at the driver on the road, but I won't stay that way.  I will get mad about gas prices and bill collectors, but I won't stay that way.  Life isn't fair, or perfect...thank God it's only some of the time.  Today I will go out with the old and in with the new because I have faith and I am a believer in me!

Believing Today, Becoming Tomorrow,
Tempera Mental Art

FIGHT

Fight for all that you believe in
Fight to move mountains and demons within
Fight for your life
Fight for your love
Fight for your plight
Fight for others' strife

FIGHT!

Fight for Gay men
Fight for Lesbians
Fight for World Peace
Fight for Education
Fight for Equality

FIGHT!

Fight your addiction
Fight your past
Fight your guilt
Fight your adversity
Fight your enemy

FIGHT!

Fight to Love
Fight to Live
Fight to Life
Understand your plight!

FIGHT!

FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE
FIGHT FOR WHAT IS RIGHT
LOVE ONE ANOTHER
FORGIVE ONE ANOTHER
EDUCATE ONE ANOTHER
WIN THE FIGHT!
YOU CAN DO ALL THINGS IF YOU WOULD JUST

FIGHT!
FIGHT!
FIGHT!

God's Speed,
Tempera Mental

It's Okay To Love (Again)

I thought about two guys I used to date and how they have closed their hearts. I thought about it because had I done the same, I would not have the love that I have today. One of them told me his story about 3 years ago, I don't know why I thought about him today. Perhaps he has found love again. There are some baaad women in the world. With the exception of Tyler Perry films, almost everything we see on television even the books we read portray men as these horrific creatures when in relationships. What about the trifling bitches who take advantage of the many good men that are in fact out there? This is the story he told me. He married her 3 weeks after he met her. He moved to Los Angeles for her neglecting the opinions of his friends and family. They were together a year and a half before she started cheating on him. Let me stop here. This particular guy loves hard when he loves, loves as deeply as a woman does, which I now see may have been his downfall. While in California, he worked around the clock was in the studio making music (about her) after that going for his dream. He wanted to make sure that his wife never had to work. He was paying for her education and raising her son. Yes, he was raising another man's child. That deserves applause in itself. He loves that little boy. He loves that little boy so much that his ex wife used this child as leverage to continuously string her ex husband along after the divorce was final. He came home one morning after working the grave yard shift to take his "son" to daycare. He and his son pull into a gas station. The boy says "daddy, that's the man that just left the house". EEK! When I tell you that he did everything for this woman, I mean everything. Whatever a woman could possibly want from a man she had in him. I haven't spoken to him in over a year but I am sure he'd say the same thing he said to me 3 years ago "I did everything I was supposed to do, and it wasn't enough,fuck women". Naturally, I had to stopped dealing with him because I knew it would never go anywhere and afterwhile he made it abundantly clear. But who could blame him? She brought another man (the man she was still with at the time of the story) into their bed, around their son. WRONG! Wrong on so many levels. He went into a state of depression so deep that he was on the brink of suicide, his bestfriend from highschool brought him back to life. God bless her for being a friend. The other one, his story is so bad he hasn't even told his mother. I blog about this today to apologize to the good men out there on behalf of trifling women. I blog about this today to say that I am one of the good ones and that it is okay for you to do everything right by your woman, some of us are worth it. I blog about this today to tell those of you who have experienced the pain of a broken heart. A pain I know all too well. I know that it feels like you have been stabbed directly into your heart but you won't die. I know that it feels like you may actually be capable of committing a crime. I know that it feels like the world is over, that the pain never subsides, that you wish you could snap your fingers and it be over in the blink of an eye. I know! I know all too well. But never give up on love. It is the one thing that is absolutely the best part of life. Never let anyone rob you of your ability to love. Never hold a grudge against that person, forgive them. I know it is easier said than done, but you feel 100 times better. Pick yourself up, love you! No one will love you better than you! Where would I be today if I'd said "fuck love"? Honestly. My beautiful man would be somewhere else, and I'd be increasingly bitter. It takes time to let go of heart ache, but you must let it go. Otherwise you block your blessings. And look at this, God had something better for me all along. What do you think he has for you?

Tempera Mental

The Fear, The Arrogant, and The Wrong Reason

I tried! I absolutely tried not to blog about the arrogant. I mean seriously what the fuck is up with you people? It's not just the arrogant ones either, it's these dip shit, muscle bound idiots who think that people are so supposed to fear them because they bounce in clubs and lift weights. Okay, first of all, weight lifter/meathead/he who thinks he is healthy/bouncer person..YOU ARE THE REASON PEOPLE HAVE GUNS. No one likes a bully, you will get fucked up eventually. I hate to be the one to tell you. I was at work the other night and this dude whose arms are so big he can't even scratch his back decides he wants to video tape one of the exotic dancers on stage. NOT COOL! I tell security and this dude was afraid to say something (in my opinion), but I have seen this same security guard (the one I said something to) wrestling or "play fighting" with some of the dancers. For the record, that is a whole other blog in itself, these assholes who do things to women, but when a man shows up it is a different story. Where was I? Oh, fear. So this big ass dude seems to instill fear in many, but not me for some reason. I believe it is how you do what you do. I went up to him and jokingly said "Kahuna, why are you doing that" he laughed and put his phone away. Anything can be done with a smile. I didn't joke because I was afraid, I joked because you have to do that when dealing with children. He's so arrogant, that he'd take offense and act like a nigga. I don't know how else to say it. Getting back to this arrogance thing. Arrogance is the most unattractive quality I have ever seen in any human being. The worse part is that arrogant people do not realize that they are arrogant, they mistake it as confidence. They are never wrong, the are the best looking, their lives are 100% together, the are better than everyone else, and they always have something to say about other people. Interestingly enough, I have never been around two arrogant people at the same time? I wonder how they act amongst each other? Does it become Clash of the Titans? I use that metaphor because they all feel they are Titans. I have worked with and been around at least 3 people who really feel that they are the epitome of mankind, but when I look at them I see great insecurity. The need to always talk about people in a negative fashion is a person's way of projecting their own deep seated issues onto others. It is their defense mechanism. I have seen 1 particular feel that he is so great at what he does that he (a trumpet play) compares himself to Miles Davis. Time out! What?! Honey I have heard you play, you are good, but far from legendary. The arrogant are a sad people. While I am impressed that their lives are together to some degree, they are still human beings who are less than stellar individuals, I think they know it and I believe it kills them inside. If you'd like to test my theory, find the nearest person whom you feel is arrogant and disagree with something they say.Be prepared however for the onslaught. LOL! I blog about this today becuase, as if there isn't enough shit going on in the world people are becoming less and less humble. If there is a heaven, if there is a resurrection and judgment; what will you say when God says "you are not this, you are not that", "my muscles are bigger than yours". What are you going to do then? We must learn to coexist. I have said this before. Say a kind word to someone, compliment someone, show respect and admiration for someone, lose the ego, lose the desire for power! You don't have to have all the power, true power rests behind the throne. The person in power is the one you rarely see. The person with the biggest muscles is the little guy. Pray to your God for forgiveness, you are going to need it. We all are. We are no different from one another, we have only different experiences. We can all use the same doctors, lawyers, medications, and insurance. We can all eat the same foods, do the same excercises, wear the same clothes. WE CAN COEXIST! We can all choose to not treat each other like complete idiots because we don't all know the same things. We can learn from one another. Why is it so difficult to be good and so easy to be bad? Why do people ask is there a God? I think people look for reasons to raise a few eyebrows. People look for reason to be a non-believer? People always need proof. My question is who the fuck do think you are? Admittedly, I am not a church goer. I do not pray as often as I should. I have questions about the bible, and other religious beliefs, but it doesn't take a genius to know that there is a greater power beyond us. Where was I? OH! We must take our ego's out of the equation. We must let go of envy and jealousy of these worldly possesions that others have. We let go of the need or desire to want to look a certain way in the eyes of others. The focus should be how you feel when you look at yourself in the mirror. If you want to have money, fame, and glory amongst your peers, then you are doing it for the wrong reason. It's okay to shop at payless. LOL! So what your friends shops at Gucci. Guess who is going to have more money in the long run...and trust me there will be a long run. You have to think about your future like the Golddigger. I'm not particularly fond of those bitches, but they think about their futures. That's a fact. But again I say, your wants and desires should not be based on what others think you should have. Set your sights higher, think bigger, and be nice about it. Be nice to people, if you are not a people person, keep it simple speak when spoken to. I really do hope my point is coming across to you all. I'm still on Rodney King "can't we all just get along?"

Tempera Mental

I'm Happy

It is always difficult for me to blog when I am happy and everything seems right. I'm seem to be at my best when I am angry or slightly vexed about something hence the name Temperamental. I can't bring myself to comment on the Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman travesty, nor can I comment on why men feel like they can tell a woman to "Act like a lady, Think like a man". At any rate, I am simply happy. By the grace of God I have everything I need at this very moment and I'm happy. If I died today, I can say that the only thing I haven't done is have children and a marriage. I have lived, I have laughed, I have loved. The best part is, it isn't over yet. My life is in fact just beginning. I wish the best for everyone. I wish my happiness for those whom I love, people I know and don't know. I want you to be happy and blessed and free spirited. I want you all to learn to love one another, to coexist peacefully, as I do with those around me. It's not as hard as it may seem, or as difficult as many people make it out to be. Of course education is the key, along with limiting the amount of news you watch. They never show anything good, the media makes the world seem to be something that it is not. I remember there was once a newspaper which printed only the good news. They eventually went out of business, people didn't want to know about good news. If that isn't sad, I don't know what is. My point to all of this is, if you can accept that you won't be able to understand everything, stop judging others and stop worrying about how you look in front of other people your world can be a better place. Of course I'm reaching by evening thinking it is possible for us to coexist peacefully, but I am the change I seek so I am happy knowing that it has started somewhere. I digress. I'm happy a shit! LOL! Join me. God speed.

Tempera Mental

Pretention

It is amazing to me the amount of people I have come across who do not know who they are. I have never seen so many people do so much to impress so many people who do not give two shits about them. I know people right now who are in debt just so they can push a benz to places that have celebrity citings on a regular bases. There are people who go broke trying to keep up with The Kardashians. Yes it's no longer The Jones'. The real question is what are they afraid of? What is this need for material that is so important to them? Why if they work someplace less than reputable can't they tell their friends about it? It might then occur to them that they don't have any friends at all. I don't care who does or doesn't like me, because I like me, as a matter fact I looooovvvveeee me! I wouldn't trade being me for anything in the world. I wouldn't trade my 2000 Ford Taurus with her 180,000 miles for a benz and fake friends. I wouldn't trade true love, for some baller who cheats on me and leaves me at home alone crying all the time just so I can be seen in Louboutin's around my fake friends. True wealth doesn't come in the form of a check! True wealth does not come in the form of material things. True wealth is in having a relationship with your God, having a family who truly loves you! Do you know that family doesn't have to be related to you? Family can be your closest friends, how beautiful is that? How beautiful is it to have a complete stranger become someone who you can actually call upon in a time of need? How beautiful is it to have a complete stranger become the person who will bail your ass out of jail, not judge or hold it against you, but uplift you and help you through? My point to all of this is ACCEPT WHO YOU ARE! Now, in an effort to understand these individuals, I will accept the fact that they may very well know who they are and pretentious is in fact who they are, then one day they wake up...old (which is 30 to them). I simply feel that the only people that have to put on airs are famous people, but that is only their job. I love to read tabloid magazines simply because they show famous people behind the scenes. They take off their make-up, they pick-up their dry cleaning, they go to the grocery store, they even walk their dogs...Who knew?! LOL! I understand this is the world we live in, but good grief! All that pretending must weigh heavily on the soul at some point.

Tempera Mental