Wake Me Peacefully!

I must admit it can be a tad irritating when I am woken up the wrong way. As a matter of fact it can be down right maddening. For about 20 mins, if I am woke up the wrong way in the morning, there will be a wrinkle in my forehead and an aggressive tone in my voice. By the wrong way I mean the neighbor who mows the lawn at 730 in the morning on a Saturday, the construction workers who start at the same time as your ignorant ass lawn mowing neighbor; what about the telemarketer or bill collect who calls at 8 am on a Saturday?

While these things may seem minute to some of you, it is a huge frickin deal to me. Sleep is something that I value tremendously simply because of my exceeding busy schedule. Those who have no life are the ones asking "is it too early to call", um...YES! Clearly an appropriate time to call someone is when businesses open, which should also be the same time you mow your lawn, and have work done on your home, etc... For those of you who have nagging ass parents and/or siblings, God bless you. I would possibly slit my wrists if I woke up to a crying kid that isn't mine, the cops banging on the door looking for an idiot relative, arguing parents who should have divorced years ago, or a young brother or sister who is annoyingly angelic. Now, having said these things I will say this; If you aren't Jesus...DONT WAKE ME UP! LOL! Im just saying. Be courteous to others, especially those who need their rest, i.e. home makers, single moms, single dads (yes they exist), those who work nights, police officers, fire fighters, anyone who isn't your dumb ass...you know who you are!

Sometimes I wake up for no reason at all, 4 hours after I went to bed. Then I realize the reason is God wants me up early because he loves me. So I am greatful for that. I love when God allows me to open my eyes, which is everyday. I just want it to always be him, peacefully. Not him combined with inconsiderate humans..LOL! I just want to be woken up by my Lord and savior...Peacefully everyday. Is that too much to ask?

Temper Mental Artist

Bad Decisions

What do you feel when you don't know what to feel? How do you feel when you are afraid? Is it fear of the unknown or fear of making the same mistake twice...more than twice. It goes back to that old saying "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me". I'm told Samurai's would commit suicide when they were covered in shame. Is one ever too old to make mistakes? Are mistakes limitless? Are there different sets of mistakes for every age group? Is there anyone who has ever or will ever be able to go through life making all the right decisions? Would you listen to your parents? Would you remain a virgin until marriage? Would you make good grades in school, join the military right out of high school, go to college right after that because Uncle Sam is paying for it? Would you lease or buy your car? Would you get tattoos? Would you remember that self preservation is the law of life or would that be "selfish"? Who's to say that you haven't made the right decisions? It's all a matter of opinion I suppose. Your life when looked upon by others is a series of opinions on their part. Some will say you made good decisions many will say you completely fucked up! However, "he who is without sin, can cast the first stone". I am not proud of the decisions I have made, but my "bad decisions" got me to where I am now. I am more prayerful, happier, wiser,I have friends now, a real man now, I am stronger, a leader, determined...destined to win all because of my bad decisions... And for all of this I thank my God in heaven for my "bad" decisions

Temper Mental Artist

Selfish, Selflessness

I believe we must all become selfish at some point. While that may sound bad to some, I have realized that true generosity comes from having your shit together. When you have a good job, good home, good car, good friends, good credit, good savings account...etc; You can help people. Clearly this is only because you have helped yourself get to the ability of being able to help others. I have been remarkably selfless for quite sometime. I have always had a big heart.

When I was 13yrs old, I lived in Africa for 6 months with my mother. There was a little girl same age as I who lived in the village my mother and I were living in. I loved this girl, she was my best friend at the time, much like a sister. One day I saw that she had no shoes on her feet, I gave her my shoes. We were no where near my townhouse for me to get another pair for myself. My almost mother cried, not out of anger, but at how great she said that my heart is. When I was 21 my now dearest friend Dionne and I were working at the same club. Dionne was about 5'2", 98 lbs; Dionne was this gorgeous little barbie doll with a winning personality. One day I saw Dionne waiting outside for the bus and offered her a ride home. Because of the long hours her fiancee worked he could not come for her. While driving her home I noticed that she didn't live far from me, but I also noticed how dimly lit and wooded the path to her apartment complex was. The bus did not drop her off close enough for her to not have to walk down this path. She, in my opinion, was entirely too small and beautiful to be walking down this dark path every night, alone. I almost cried at the thought of someone possibly kidnapping or raping her or something to that effect. I offered to pick her up and take her home, every single day. We are the best of friend til this day.

3 years ago I gave my whole heart to someone and lost everything because of it. A new lesson was learned. I have now learned that self preservation is the law of life. For the first time in my life I am now thinking about me. It feels weird doing it, but it has to be done. I go to the gym now, I'm eating better, feeling better, and have returned to the church. This is when it is okay to be selfish. No one is going to take care of you but you. The world we live in affords one the luxury of taking care of oneself first above all. Now it is time to go for a better quality of life. I have provided so many with happiness that I have forgotten about myself. God has helped me catch this issue early in life, now I can move onward and upward. I have to take things about myself more seriously now. That's not to say that I'll be a bitch to someone in need, I'll just have to be more cautious about whom I help out, whom I give so much of myself to, and what I do for myself in the long run. When one takes better care of themselves one can then focus on bigger issues (i.e. world hunger, world disease, education, etc)...things that really matter.

Temper Mental Artist

Self Improve

There comes a time in one's life when one must improve. Improve physically, mentally, emotionally & spiritually. There comes a time when one must open themself to recover from mistakes made. Having said that I will tell you of my efforts to improve. It began on New Year's Eve; On December 31st, 2010 I found myself in church. Talk about right place, right time, right people. Helluva way to begin the process of self improvement...as a matter of fact it's the perfect way to do so. From there I renewed my gym membership and slowed down my cigarette and alcohol intake. I have now found myself eating salads, soups, and sashimi....not bad for this soon to be "extra fabulous" young woman :-) Like my grandmother always says "prayer changes things", if only I'd have listened sooner. But as long as you have life you will always have a chance to better yourself. Trust that now is the time. If you wanna go back to school...GO! If you wanna go to the gym...GO! If you've wronged someone...MAKE AMMENDS! My point is now is the time to be the best you, the best me, we can be. Like Nike says "Just Do It". Good better best, never let it rest, until your good is better, and your better is best!

~Temper Mental

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The Decisions We Make

How well are things thought through before decisions are made? Can one ever be truly certain the decision he or she made is the "right decision"? Admittedly I have made some DUMB decisions in my life, be that as it may I am a truly great person today because of those DUMB decisions. The decision to blog sporadically comes from my need to share common ground with people who only look different from me, but trust we are all the same inside. We all decide to have children, get married, take a vacation, eat certain foods, buy certain things, have different religions, have attitudes for no apparent reason, etc. I'm just saying. I suppose that is why we share things with people. I imagine sharing fundemental ideas with people provide us all with better ways to make better decisions. Bottomline is we have each other to help us through our decision making processes. Now, having said that make no mistake about it one should ask God first. I have found when I ask God first, he'll send me an angel, that angel will be in human form to do his will (I.e. your mom or best friend, even a stranger) and you'll know he got your message; after all he made us in his image. So when making a decision go with God, share with one another, respect one another and above all Love One Another.

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THINK BIG

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.  There is no one who will follow or chase your dreams for you.  Let no fear, heartbreak, job, man or woman stop you.  Go confidently in the direction of your dreams for better quality of life.  By better quality of life I mean, dream of waking up to breakfast in bed...made by your personal chef.  Dream of actually owning that Maserati or Aston Martin.  Dream of making great investments.  Dream of being able to tithe 10% of $100,000,000 to your church.  Oh what God can do!  Dream a big Dream.  Have something to pass down to your children...an estate perhaps, art, jewels, horses, fine wines, etc...  Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.  Do what is right by your dreams, i.e. put a down payment on a home with your first "$50,000", clear your credit report, buy an automobile that makes sense in this economy but still has style.  THINK a big dream and GO CONFIDENTLY in the Direction of that Dream.  I know I will

Leontine
On Christ a solid rock I stand, All other ground is sinking sand

AS IT SHOULD BE

God has a divine plan for us all.  I have opened my eyes many a morning and thought "how am I gonna get to where I wanna be?" After I asked myself that question I realized that my eyes are open...I'm alive and well and I should be greatful for that first.  As long as you have life in you one can start over again.  Today is a new day, we have made it through a new year.  Whatever you have always wanted to do, wherever you have always wanted to be, NOW IS THE TIME.  Do what I did; sit down and evaluate your life.  Now is the time for introspection.  Evaluate who you are, what you are, how you came to be where you are, let go and let GOD!  Time waits for no man.  Do not be concerned with trivial matters such as vanity, or what others may think of what you should be doing with your life, or what others think you should be doing make it to where you want to be in life.  Concerning yourself with others opinions of who you are can be highly detrimental.  All that matters is that you are the beautiful creature that God made you to be.  All that matters is that everything is as it should be and God has already answered our prayers.  Every piece of heartache, every piece of downfall, every piece of stress that you have endured has prepared you for the goodness that you have asked God for.  I would like to be as successful an actress as Angelina Jolie or Cate Blanchett, do you think that is something that God just hands out?  Do you think I know everything about that business? I'd imagine that it takes an exorbitant amount of preparation to get that far ahead in life.  Would I like it to happen over night?  ABSOLUTELY! Am I prepared for overnight success?  I am now, 6 months ago...hell no!  If only I could show you the wrath God bestowed upon me to get me where I am now.  I am greatful that I am strong now, courageous now, fearless now, patient now, greatful now! Now...everything...is AS IT SHOULD BE!