Selfish, Selflessness

I believe we must all become selfish at some point. While that may sound bad to some, I have realized that true generosity comes from having your shit together. When you have a good job, good home, good car, good friends, good credit, good savings account...etc; You can help people. Clearly this is only because you have helped yourself get to the ability of being able to help others. I have been remarkably selfless for quite sometime. I have always had a big heart.

When I was 13yrs old, I lived in Africa for 6 months with my mother. There was a little girl same age as I who lived in the village my mother and I were living in. I loved this girl, she was my best friend at the time, much like a sister. One day I saw that she had no shoes on her feet, I gave her my shoes. We were no where near my townhouse for me to get another pair for myself. My almost mother cried, not out of anger, but at how great she said that my heart is. When I was 21 my now dearest friend Dionne and I were working at the same club. Dionne was about 5'2", 98 lbs; Dionne was this gorgeous little barbie doll with a winning personality. One day I saw Dionne waiting outside for the bus and offered her a ride home. Because of the long hours her fiancee worked he could not come for her. While driving her home I noticed that she didn't live far from me, but I also noticed how dimly lit and wooded the path to her apartment complex was. The bus did not drop her off close enough for her to not have to walk down this path. She, in my opinion, was entirely too small and beautiful to be walking down this dark path every night, alone. I almost cried at the thought of someone possibly kidnapping or raping her or something to that effect. I offered to pick her up and take her home, every single day. We are the best of friend til this day.

3 years ago I gave my whole heart to someone and lost everything because of it. A new lesson was learned. I have now learned that self preservation is the law of life. For the first time in my life I am now thinking about me. It feels weird doing it, but it has to be done. I go to the gym now, I'm eating better, feeling better, and have returned to the church. This is when it is okay to be selfish. No one is going to take care of you but you. The world we live in affords one the luxury of taking care of oneself first above all. Now it is time to go for a better quality of life. I have provided so many with happiness that I have forgotten about myself. God has helped me catch this issue early in life, now I can move onward and upward. I have to take things about myself more seriously now. That's not to say that I'll be a bitch to someone in need, I'll just have to be more cautious about whom I help out, whom I give so much of myself to, and what I do for myself in the long run. When one takes better care of themselves one can then focus on bigger issues (i.e. world hunger, world disease, education, etc)...things that really matter.

Temper Mental Artist

Self Improve

There comes a time in one's life when one must improve. Improve physically, mentally, emotionally & spiritually. There comes a time when one must open themself to recover from mistakes made. Having said that I will tell you of my efforts to improve. It began on New Year's Eve; On December 31st, 2010 I found myself in church. Talk about right place, right time, right people. Helluva way to begin the process of self improvement...as a matter of fact it's the perfect way to do so. From there I renewed my gym membership and slowed down my cigarette and alcohol intake. I have now found myself eating salads, soups, and sashimi....not bad for this soon to be "extra fabulous" young woman :-) Like my grandmother always says "prayer changes things", if only I'd have listened sooner. But as long as you have life you will always have a chance to better yourself. Trust that now is the time. If you wanna go back to school...GO! If you wanna go to the gym...GO! If you've wronged someone...MAKE AMMENDS! My point is now is the time to be the best you, the best me, we can be. Like Nike says "Just Do It". Good better best, never let it rest, until your good is better, and your better is best!

~Temper Mental

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The Decisions We Make

How well are things thought through before decisions are made? Can one ever be truly certain the decision he or she made is the "right decision"? Admittedly I have made some DUMB decisions in my life, be that as it may I am a truly great person today because of those DUMB decisions. The decision to blog sporadically comes from my need to share common ground with people who only look different from me, but trust we are all the same inside. We all decide to have children, get married, take a vacation, eat certain foods, buy certain things, have different religions, have attitudes for no apparent reason, etc. I'm just saying. I suppose that is why we share things with people. I imagine sharing fundemental ideas with people provide us all with better ways to make better decisions. Bottomline is we have each other to help us through our decision making processes. Now, having said that make no mistake about it one should ask God first. I have found when I ask God first, he'll send me an angel, that angel will be in human form to do his will (I.e. your mom or best friend, even a stranger) and you'll know he got your message; after all he made us in his image. So when making a decision go with God, share with one another, respect one another and above all Love One Another.

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THINK BIG

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.  There is no one who will follow or chase your dreams for you.  Let no fear, heartbreak, job, man or woman stop you.  Go confidently in the direction of your dreams for better quality of life.  By better quality of life I mean, dream of waking up to breakfast in bed...made by your personal chef.  Dream of actually owning that Maserati or Aston Martin.  Dream of making great investments.  Dream of being able to tithe 10% of $100,000,000 to your church.  Oh what God can do!  Dream a big Dream.  Have something to pass down to your children...an estate perhaps, art, jewels, horses, fine wines, etc...  Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.  Do what is right by your dreams, i.e. put a down payment on a home with your first "$50,000", clear your credit report, buy an automobile that makes sense in this economy but still has style.  THINK a big dream and GO CONFIDENTLY in the Direction of that Dream.  I know I will

Leontine
On Christ a solid rock I stand, All other ground is sinking sand

AS IT SHOULD BE

God has a divine plan for us all.  I have opened my eyes many a morning and thought "how am I gonna get to where I wanna be?" After I asked myself that question I realized that my eyes are open...I'm alive and well and I should be greatful for that first.  As long as you have life in you one can start over again.  Today is a new day, we have made it through a new year.  Whatever you have always wanted to do, wherever you have always wanted to be, NOW IS THE TIME.  Do what I did; sit down and evaluate your life.  Now is the time for introspection.  Evaluate who you are, what you are, how you came to be where you are, let go and let GOD!  Time waits for no man.  Do not be concerned with trivial matters such as vanity, or what others may think of what you should be doing with your life, or what others think you should be doing make it to where you want to be in life.  Concerning yourself with others opinions of who you are can be highly detrimental.  All that matters is that you are the beautiful creature that God made you to be.  All that matters is that everything is as it should be and God has already answered our prayers.  Every piece of heartache, every piece of downfall, every piece of stress that you have endured has prepared you for the goodness that you have asked God for.  I would like to be as successful an actress as Angelina Jolie or Cate Blanchett, do you think that is something that God just hands out?  Do you think I know everything about that business? I'd imagine that it takes an exorbitant amount of preparation to get that far ahead in life.  Would I like it to happen over night?  ABSOLUTELY! Am I prepared for overnight success?  I am now, 6 months ago...hell no!  If only I could show you the wrath God bestowed upon me to get me where I am now.  I am greatful that I am strong now, courageous now, fearless now, patient now, greatful now! Now...everything...is AS IT SHOULD BE!

LOVE (Part I)

I suppose we all just like the feeling of love.  Love gives us a feeling of acceptance; it shows us that someone really likes who we are.  What happens when the person whom you thought loved you stops calling? What happens when they spend so much time with you that you fall in love and they don't; how when the time that you spent together was so beautiful?  How can you show someone that you are different from everything they are use to? What if they have adapted and become what they are use to? I believe the saddest part of Love is the fact that it is a game.  You must play the game of love and risk breaking or having your heart broken everytime.  Now, the great thing about games...you can choose not to play. Hallelujah to that! I have always been a complete ball of love, it is who I am.  I love people, places, & things, much more than most people.  The places and things I love the most.  But people?  People lie to you, steal from you, hurt you...and it's always the people you love the most that do these things.  Why is that?  I suppose we all dream of the love of Romeo & Juliet (without the suicide of course), Edward & Bella, or The Farm Boy & Buttercup.  But I suppose that is why they are fictional characters: true love does not exist in reality.  I feel as tho no one is capable of being faithful anymore...too many options; no one puts any effort into being romantic, spicing up a relationship, or trying to get to know the person you say they love.  How many of you know your mates favorite color or colors?  Favorite movie, food, where they see themselves in 10 years?  Have you even asked these questions? Do you really care about that person or what he or she does for you?  I have noticed that many women only want a man who has money and status?  Bitch you don't have these things, so what the hell makes you think he'll want you for anything other than pussy or to be arm candy?  You have placed yourself in that realm of ignorance in hopes that he'll make you #1.  I have noticed that men have trouble being honest simply because they want to have their cake and eat it too!  How hard is it to say "I'm not interested in being in a relationship, I just wanna have sex"?  You cowards cant do it because it will be a blow to your ego if she says no because you really want that chance to open her legs.  So you'd rather play with her emotions; do everything you have to do physically, mentally and emotionally to get between her legs and then when she gives in..poof the phone calls slow down, not because the sex was bad, but because there are sooo many options out there.  Then you wonder why it happens to you one day or to your daughter.  Then "bitches ain't shit"! Truth is none of us know exactly what we want, none of us will ever get exactly what we want because it only exists in fairytales. Now, if you are over 40 single with no children because you are waiting for this special fairytale love... wake the f*ck up!  Find someone before your ass ends up old and alone in an old folks home.  Because the bottomline is true love doesn't exist, but at least there is some kind of love out there; it's break your heart at the drop of a dime type love, but it is all we have. For those of you who have been in love, I really wish it would last for you  because the world we live in today...it's really sad.  Guys will have sex with anything and women will have sex with your man, they will even charge him for it.  So to all of you women out their who think that their man is faithful:  WAKE UP DUMB DUMB! For the love of God woman wake up.  Everyone cheats in some capacity.  I do hope that I have evoked emotion in all of you.  Don't mind me, I'm just bitter about this thing we call  Love.

I'm Just Sayin

it never ceases to amaze me, the things which are actually important to people. things that really dont frickin matter, i.e. having the latest gucci bag or dating only athletes and movie stars. there are things which are so much  more important like world peace, homelessness, heroin addiction etc... i once heard a woman say to a man whom she use to date..."hey sweetie, this is my new man...he has the same car as you but his house is bigger"...wtf!?  what's even funnier is the man she said this to is Jamie Foxx...lol! This is not something which matters but you cant tell that ignorant broad that. At any rate my point is what really matters in life (in my opinion) is having someone to love , family values, a kind heart and a true friend...above all else God! I'm Just Saying.